Rubber Walrus

Here's something we DIDN'T know about Obama

2008-10-16T01:22:00.003-04:00

Too funny!

Masturbating is fun!

2008-10-05T20:47:00.006-04:00

Stories we never read as kids Part 3

2008-09-30T00:30:00.001-04:00

Stories we never read as kids Part 2

2008-09-30T00:25:00.003-04:00

Stories we never read as kids Part 1

2008-09-30T00:20:00.003-04:00

Bravery ...

2008-09-25T00:05:00.001-04:00

Banned from WalMart

2008-09-20T00:02:00.000-04:00

Will Ferrell answers questions from fans

2008-09-15T14:25:00.000-04:00

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

911 is for emergencies, idiots!

2008-09-11T22:07:00.001-04:00

Top five 911 abuses:

5) 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez called 911 to complain that a slot machine at the stole his money at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Florida stole his money. He called again when police did not show up.

4) Cheveon Alonzo Ford, 21, was arrested and charged with making obscene and harassing telephone calls. He called 911 to harass female operators because, he told police, "I have no minutes on my phone and 911 is a free call!" He had made 300 calls.

3)Caller: I have a son that's a policeman in Bent Luke's metropolitan Missouri.
Operator: What did you need ma'am?
Caller: I need to let him know I'm on my way home from Colorado.

2)Some lady calls 911 and complains that Burger King messed up her cheeseburger order. She wants them to bring the police down to "protect" her. Amazing.

1) 911: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
911: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
911: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
911: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

James Bond: The Quantum of What The F&*#?

2008-08-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

Great prank to play on friends!

2008-08-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

Funny Beach Prank - For more funny movies, click here

Most Outrageous Moments in News

2008-08-04T22:25:00.000-04:00

Most Outrageous Moments On The News - Click here for another funny movie.

I said, keep your mind out of the gutter!

2008-08-03T00:34:00.000-04:00

Get your mind out of the gutter!

2008-08-02T00:31:00.000-04:00

BBC: Journey to the West

2008-08-01T00:01:00.000-04:00

The BBC Sport department has debuted a cool animated video campaign to promote its coverage of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, which start on 08.08.08. Artists Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn from the band Gorillaz produced the super cool animation and music.

Bugs Bunny's dick

2008-07-30T00:30:00.001-04:00

I was watching some very old cartoons merged onto DVD and I thought I saw something so I slowed it down and I played the words right when his penis comes out "I'm just an angel in disguise." Perfect!

Spidey let himself go

2008-07-30T00:25:00.001-04:00

Do you think the designer is overcompensating for something ...

2008-07-30T00:22:00.003-04:00

Darth Vader ain't so bad

2008-07-30T00:01:00.002-04:00

This is going to be messy

2008-07-29T00:51:00.001-04:00

Uncle Globey and his Friends

2008-07-29T00:02:00.000-04:00

Times they are a-changin'. Maybe children's programs need to change too!

Uncle Globey & Friends | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Who knew censorship could be so much fun!

2008-07-29T00:00:00.001-04:00

The BPA - Toe Jam Featuring David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal
Uploaded by TheBrightonPortAuthority

UPS driver gets special, final delivery

2008-07-28T02:28:00.003-04:00

Jeff Hornagold loved being a UPS driver.

So when the suburban Chicago man died this week of lung cancer, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan agreed to take him on one last delivery.

McGowan transported Hornagold's body from Davenport Family Funeral Home to Saturday's funeral services in his UPS truck.

McGowan says he plans to keep a picture of Hornagold in his truck until he retires so that they can keep riding together.

Hornagold was a UPS driver for 20 years, and his wife Judy Hornagold described him as "just the happiest UPS man alive."

She says the special delivery was the perfect tribute.

Goodnight, Bush!

2008-07-27T00:44:00.008-04:00

The New York Times bestseller GoodNight Bush is a hilarious and poignant requiem for the Bush administration. This bedtime story lets us laugh at—and finally say goodnight to—the disaster of the last eight years.

On the first page we see the President tucked in bed in a room with the same bright colors as perennial children's book “Goodnight Moon.” He is smiling, but all around him are things that should give him pause: In the fireplace burn the ballots from the 2000 election; a small figure of bin Laden replaces the little mouse as it scurries unnoticed about the room; the President’s pajamas are the combat costume in which he claimed victory in Iraq; on his bedside table is the children’s book “My Pet Goat.”

Parodies fill each picture: a pull-toy of Colin Powell gets crushed under Cheney’s rocker and a picture of an Abu Ghraib torture scene sits on the bedside table.

You may not want to read this to your kids (it will scare the Bajeebus out of them) but you'll get a good laugh every time you or your friends pick it up.

Ooops!

2008-07-26T23:41:00.001-04:00

For your next big poker night

2008-07-25T17:08:00.003-04:00

These professional grade, poker size playing cards take a peek into the dark corners of the Grand Ole Party. Featuring a plethora of politicians who got caught playing pitcher for the wrong team, allegedly.

The card makers promise they are neither homophobic nor anti-Republican. "We just hate hypocrites." You can find them at GayRepublicanCards.com

Making War More Eco-Friendly

2008-07-25T16:16:00.001-04:00

Panelists discuss ways to wage a greener war in Iraq, such as driving biodegradable tanks and shocking detainees' testicles with wind power.

Batman Review!

2008-07-25T15:51:00.000-04:00

The Dark Knight Movie Review from Spill.com
Uploaded by SpillCrew

Don't try this at home or work!

2008-07-24T02:49:00.000-04:00

4 banned commercials

2008-07-24T02:46:00.000-04:00

Man killed by electric wee

2008-07-23T00:48:00.001-04:00

A Polish tourist has died after being electrocuted when he urinated on a railway track at a busy London station.

The 41-year-old died at about 5.20pm on July 12 at Vauxhall Station in the south of the capital, British Transport Police said.

A spokesman confirmed that he had walked on to the track at platform 1 where he was electrocuted.

According to the Sun, the man was in Britain in an attempt to improve his English. His family are said to be devastated at the married teacher's death.

The newspaper reports that there are no public toilets at the station, although there are facilities in a nearby bus station.

A London Ambulance Service spokesperson said two ambulances arrived at the station after being alerted to the incident but the man died at the scene.

Network Rail says in excess of 60 people die on railway lines, of which about 40% are electrified, each year.

How would you react if you saw this?

2008-07-22T01:19:00.000-04:00

Time for a little revenge ...

2008-07-21T00:02:00.000-04:00

1. Revenge on a dirty roommate - using a hairdryer blow flour or powder under their door to give everything an awesome white coat...

2. When your roommate goes away, water his/her carpet and sow mustard and cress seeds for a lush shag pile...

3. Revenge on a neighbor - replace weed killer with plant food - they'll curse their green fingers...

4. Float unwrapped chocolate bars and toilet paper in your neighbor's pool...

5. Fill your coworker's umbrella or coat hood with confetti for a sudden snow storm ...

6. Take your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend's clubbing clothes and use an ultraviolet pen to write funny sayings. When he goes dancing your "secret" message will shared with all the girls in the club ...

7. Revenge on golfers - put dog poo in the golf holes...

Strange birth control options

2008-07-21T00:01:00.000-04:00

Sex experts Erica Orloff and JoAnn Baker say the idea for the I.U.D. was originated by Arabian camel herders who discovered sticking a stone in a female camel's genitalia would keep them from getting pregnant.

Other cultures with bizarre birth control methods include ancient China, where the women terminated pregnancy by drinking hot mercury the day after sex and ancient Persia, where the ladies used sea sponges soaked in alcohol as primitive contraceptive sponges.

Banned: Cannabis commercial

2008-07-19T00:01:00.000-04:00

Fine, it's a public service announcement ... but it's still funny as hell.

Squirrel Fishing

2008-07-18T00:45:00.001-04:00

BANZAI - Squirrel Fishing
Uploaded by banzaitv

What? Are they just there for decoration?

2008-07-17T02:18:00.002-04:00

If attacked by an alligator ...

2008-07-17T02:16:00.003-04:00

Let the race to be President begin

2008-07-17T02:06:00.002-04:00

A catchy little tune about the upcoming presidential race ...

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Everybody farts! (Yes, even you!)

2008-07-15T00:16:00.002-04:00

The Pond Inc. is selling a wonderful product called "Subtle Butt", a fart neutralizer. Made out of a carbon fabric pad, the small square adheres to the inside of your underwear with two self-adhesive strips. The filter neutralizes the odor as it passes through, allowing you to eat all the chili you want without ruining your dating life.

Microwavable S'Mores Maker

2008-07-15T00:15:00.000-04:00

It's a crime that more people have never experienced an authentic S'More. So the good people (or evil people, you never know these days) at Progressive International have created the Microwavable S'Mores Maker. Just fill the base with water, stack your smores, lower the arms, and microwave for approximately 30 seconds. The graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate will heat quickly and evenly while the arms hold everything in place. Crazy!

Oh, labels

2008-07-15T00:09:00.003-04:00

They ran out of balloons!

2008-07-14T00:44:00.003-04:00

Clowns can do amazing things with a couple colored balloons...

Pokemon: banned episode

2008-07-14T00:31:00.003-04:00

For those of you not familiar with Pokemon, it is probably one of the biggest cartoon franchises of the new century. It's been westernized and anglicized for all our kiddies, but a few episodes have NOT made it our way. I'll track down a few more of them if I can, but this is one of my favorites.

In this scene James, a male character, enters a female bikini contest. And somehow he's sporting very realistic (in a cartoon sense) boobs!

Advice for actors

2008-07-14T00:01:00.000-04:00

Too funny by half! I can think of several actors who could use this advice!

Jewel Quest - for time wasters like you (and me!)

2008-07-11T00:01:00.002-04:00

Adam Sandler's big "secret"

2008-07-11T00:01:00.001-04:00

For the man who has everything

2008-07-10T01:25:00.002-04:00

It's a belt. It's a bottle opener. What more could a man need?

One way to get their attention

2008-07-10T01:14:00.002-04:00

I came across this image of a news slipping that I couldn't resist sharing. I have no idea where it was printed so unfortunately I cannot give credit where credit is due.

Under Barack Obama

2008-07-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

What the "rivalry" between Obama and Clinton was really hiding:

What everyman dreams of ...

2008-07-09T03:01:00.000-04:00

Mmmm-mmmmm. Nothing better than a blowjob with lots of teeth ...

Tic Tac Toe

2008-07-09T00:12:00.000-04:00

Pee shy?

2008-07-08T03:16:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the pressure to perform can be too much to handle ...

It comes so naturally for some guys

2008-07-08T03:15:00.000-04:00

Going a little potty?

2008-07-08T03:01:00.001-04:00

Waking up to this would make anyone start peeing the bed again.

Seems about right.

You'd never need to pull off to the side of the road again.

You KNOW a woman invented this!

Tables beware

2008-07-07T09:08:00.000-04:00

Furniture everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. Art Price Jr., 40, was sentenced to six months in county jail by an Ohio court after pleading no contest to two counts of public indecency. He had been arrested by the Bellevue Police on March 20 after he was caught "having relations" with a metal table.

Price, who has a history of sexual offenses, will also undergo psychiatric treatment and pay a fine of $1,500.

As for the table, it now collapses every time it hears a zipper. (from BananaGuide.com)

Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet

2008-07-07T04:35:00.000-04:00

Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet

U.S. Patent 6920646, Human waste management suit, by Caleb Clark Crye, Gregg M. Thompson, and Eric Owen Fehlberg. Issued Jul 26, 2005.

Problem: You got to wear a biohazard suit to protect against biological or chemical weapons ... but as soon as you put it on, you really gotta go!

Solution: A biohazard suit with a built-in toilet! Just squat a little bit and go.

Bonus: Hazardous fumes are sealed inside the suit, thus preventing embarrassing smell from adding extra stress to an already strenuous situation.

Potential Complications: How do you wipe?

See more great anti-terrorism patents at: http://www.neatorama.com

Hedgehogs going extinct?

2008-07-07T03:13:00.000-04:00

This may explain why there ain't too many baby hedgehogs around...

Ignorance is bliss

2008-07-07T03:01:00.000-04:00

Oh Mini Me!

2008-07-07T00:04:00.000-04:00

Verne Troyer's ex-girlfriend, Ranae Shrider, admitted in court that she okayed a celebrity website to show small bits of her sex tape with the 2-ft 6-in star (who some of you may remember as Mini Me from the Austin Powers movies).

Troyer is suing a porn distributor to halt a release of the video. He is seeking 20 million dollars in damages.

Guess rumors about a "third leg" were greatly exagerated, otherwise he would have uploaded the video onto YouTube!

When stain glass windows go wrong.

2008-07-06T21:10:00.002-04:00

Potty mouth reporter

2008-07-03T16:24:00.001-04:00

Is it just us or is he really not enjoying country life?

Jackie Beat takes on Britney

2008-06-20T18:19:00.000-04:00

I love Jackie Beat! And I will make all of you love her too if it's the last thing I do! Muhahahahahahahaha!

I'm nice!

2008-06-20T18:15:00.000-04:00

Parody of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", made by Creation Nation. So much better than the real thing!

Comic book heroes strip

2008-06-19T17:21:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what superheroes get up to in their off time?

Gyno is a big fraud

2008-06-13T00:19:00.000-04:00

You really, really need to check on your doctor's credentials ... especially if he's a gyno! Businessman Zalman Silber, 40, was arrested at his N.Y., home Thursday morning and accused of molesting two women by giving them "gynecological exams."

He's a Hasidic Jew and father of five (with another on the way) so where he found the time is anyone's guess.

It gets stranger. His lawyer? Kenneth Gribetz, a former Rockland County prosecutor who stepped down after his secret passion for wearing women's clothing and a dog collar were exposed over a decade ago.

"It doesn't often get stranger than this," a police source said.